Thursday 12 February 2009
Vida Guerra's ass. Again.
I know many of you are fans of Vida Guerra. And I know because of girls like her, JLO, and Kim Kardashian it is now socially acceptable to prance around in a G-string with a big ass which is a shame because it’s not very attractive. Personally, I like woman who are fit and take care of themselves. But that’s just me. I have taste. However, for those of you who don’t, enjoy these Vida Guerra bikini pictures.
Kate Hudson's ass
When I saw these pictures of Kate Hudson out paddle surfing in the ocean wherever the hell she is, I have to admit I was a little excited. The last time I had any Kate Hudson bikini they were pretty damn hot. Unfortunately this time she looks like she’s going to a clam dig in Nantucket. What the hell? At least her ass still looks pretty good, I’d like to go clam digging in that thing…. That was uncalled for.
It's all true
Yesterday, I posted a video of Salma Hayek using her chichis of wonder to save a starving baby in Sierra Leone. I joked that the baby is now a mega genius who can solve the world's most impossible problems. Well, that was no joke. Salma's miracle chichis really do turn babies into little prodigies.During an interview with that troll Rachael Ray and Rachael's buff gymnast titties, Salma said her 16-month-old daughter Valentina can already speak three languages. She speaks English, French and Spanish. Damn and fuck! I can't even get English right and that baby has got me beat. Eff night classes at Sylvan Learning Center. I need to get schooled by Valentina. Or maybe I just need to nuzzle on Salma's chichis and they will give me all the answers.
Salma also went on to say that her daughter sees ghosts! "Last night she woke up and her eyes were open. And she's looking at one specific point and she's going, 'No no no no, au revoir,' which means goodbye in French ... And she's looking at someone, but there's no one there. was so scared, and I'm like, 'Yes, au revoir, whoever you are, get out!' And then she started saying it in English: 'Bye bye, bye bye!' I guess she was trying in different languages to see what nationality this ghost was to go away. It was terrifying!"
Homegirl was showing off her premium language skills. And it was just Einstein's spirit visiting her genius ass. Valentina tutors him at night.
Chris Brown is a cunt because of SMS?
The latest chapter in the Brown/Riri beat down saga of 2009 claims that the fight between the two was over a text message he got from some ho while he was driving. A police source tells TMZ that RiRi read a text from some trick Chris was planning on doing sexy times with later. They also fought about an unnamed rapper, but that's not how the fight started. And Chris' pussy call is not the rapper. I've also read on several sites that they were fighting about RiRi giving Chris the herp which she got from a rapper.
As for the identity of Chris' whore, OK! says that a few days before he basically punched his career goodbye, he was seen getting flirty with the STD motel known as Wonky McValtrex. If Chris beat RiRi over a text he got from Wonky, that bitch deserves eleventy life sentences and a ten-hour dick slapping from Tommy Lee. Chris is the one who deserved a beat down for flirting with that skeezer.
Annnnnnnnnd there's more. E! (everyone's getting in on the fun) says a source told them that Chris theatened to kill RiRi after she threw the car keys out of the window during the beat down. This put the rage of James Brown into Chris' body and he allegedly choked her until she passed the fuck out. That's when he quit that bitch and took off running.
There's more details on her injuries. RiRi's right eye was swollen up like one of Wonky's pussy lips, so she couldn't open it.
Okay, who else needs to dance with a crack pipe after reading that shit? I felt like Chris just broke dishes over my head. Every time I click on other websites, there's ten more damn rumors. I feel like we need pie charts, graphs, etc.... When I read one story, it debunks the other. I don't like doing math! Let's share a bottle of something that kills brain cells in order to deal with the madness
As for the identity of Chris' whore, OK! says that a few days before he basically punched his career goodbye, he was seen getting flirty with the STD motel known as Wonky McValtrex. If Chris beat RiRi over a text he got from Wonky, that bitch deserves eleventy life sentences and a ten-hour dick slapping from Tommy Lee. Chris is the one who deserved a beat down for flirting with that skeezer.
Annnnnnnnnd there's more. E! (everyone's getting in on the fun) says a source told them that Chris theatened to kill RiRi after she threw the car keys out of the window during the beat down. This put the rage of James Brown into Chris' body and he allegedly choked her until she passed the fuck out. That's when he quit that bitch and took off running.
There's more details on her injuries. RiRi's right eye was swollen up like one of Wonky's pussy lips, so she couldn't open it.
Okay, who else needs to dance with a crack pipe after reading that shit? I felt like Chris just broke dishes over my head. Every time I click on other websites, there's ten more damn rumors. I feel like we need pie charts, graphs, etc.... When I read one story, it debunks the other. I don't like doing math! Let's share a bottle of something that kills brain cells in order to deal with the madness
Don't let them breed.
A couple that butchers their face together, stays together. That's always been my motto and that's why I think Mickey Rourke and Courtney Love make sense as a couple.
The Daily Mirror says that Loki's daddy and crazy's favorite customer have been licking on each other's surgery scars for the past three weeks. A source said, “Mickey texted Courtney totally out of the blue, around the time of the Golden Globes, asking to take her out for the night. They met up in secret and had an awesome evening. Let’s just say they didn’t stop at holding hands and a chaste peck on the cheek."
I bet watching them fuck is like watching a hot dog slowly explode in the microwave.
But I'm sure they understand each other like no on else can. When his face spontaneously falls off the bone, Courtney will know exactly how to put it back on. When Mickey's asshole dries up and dies when Courtney is tossing his salad, they will just laugh it off together. When Mickey's jizz load refuses to come out because it's scared of the fugness, Courtney will understand. All these things have happened to them before, so they already know each other. That's true love.
Just as long as they don't spawn. Don't fucking spawn. If Eric Stolz in Mask still gives you night terrors, then pray to the Baby Jesus for strength, because a Courkey baby will make your stomach jump out of your body, run to the kitchen, grab a knife and poke your eyes out to stop the pain.
The Daily Mirror says that Loki's daddy and crazy's favorite customer have been licking on each other's surgery scars for the past three weeks. A source said, “Mickey texted Courtney totally out of the blue, around the time of the Golden Globes, asking to take her out for the night. They met up in secret and had an awesome evening. Let’s just say they didn’t stop at holding hands and a chaste peck on the cheek."
I bet watching them fuck is like watching a hot dog slowly explode in the microwave.
But I'm sure they understand each other like no on else can. When his face spontaneously falls off the bone, Courtney will know exactly how to put it back on. When Mickey's asshole dries up and dies when Courtney is tossing his salad, they will just laugh it off together. When Mickey's jizz load refuses to come out because it's scared of the fugness, Courtney will understand. All these things have happened to them before, so they already know each other. That's true love.
Just as long as they don't spawn. Don't fucking spawn. If Eric Stolz in Mask still gives you night terrors, then pray to the Baby Jesus for strength, because a Courkey baby will make your stomach jump out of your body, run to the kitchen, grab a knife and poke your eyes out to stop the pain.
Not my Edie!
SPOILER ALERT! Edie Britt, the resident cunt of Desperate Housewives, is done with that shit and will be leaving the show at the end of the season. This is gross news for the two of you who still watch this caca fiesta, me included. ABC confirmed Nicollette's departure to TV Guide.
ABC didn't say how Edie would be written off the show, but Ted Casablanca at E! claims he knows how it's going to go down. A script is currently going around has one of Edie's final scenes in it. According to Ted, this is what happens: "Edie finds out that her husband, Dave, plans to kill her—and Dave almost does kill her. She runs out of the house, but, alas, poor Edie gets in an accident, something involving her car and an electrical wire."
Please tell me this is a joke and that's not how Edie's swan song is going to play out. Unless, she gets electrocuted from masturbating with the electrical wire, this is not how Edie should go out. She deserves something grand and slutty. A freak vibrator accident, or accidentally choking to death on a massive wang. Something like that! Ugh. Still, she's probably the number 1 milf on the show....shame.
ABC didn't say how Edie would be written off the show, but Ted Casablanca at E! claims he knows how it's going to go down. A script is currently going around has one of Edie's final scenes in it. According to Ted, this is what happens: "Edie finds out that her husband, Dave, plans to kill her—and Dave almost does kill her. She runs out of the house, but, alas, poor Edie gets in an accident, something involving her car and an electrical wire."
Please tell me this is a joke and that's not how Edie's swan song is going to play out. Unless, she gets electrocuted from masturbating with the electrical wire, this is not how Edie should go out. She deserves something grand and slutty. A freak vibrator accident, or accidentally choking to death on a massive wang. Something like that! Ugh. Still, she's probably the number 1 milf on the show....shame.
B-Day's
Christina Ricci (29) Sarah Lancaster (29)Fonzworth Bentley (35)Darren Aronofsky (40)Meja (40)Josh Brolin (41)Chynna Phillips (41)Ed Lover (46)John Michael Higgins (46)Arsenio Hall (54)Joanna Kerns (56)Maud Adams (64)Judy Blume (71)Franco Zeffirelli (86)HOTNESS ALERT
Jezza broke his wrist. GOOD. I say we need more hot milfs on Top Gear. The bastard....
Kate Moss is preggers?
From the Daily Mail"It is just the beginnings of a round tummy, but on normally rail-thin Kate Moss it stood out a mile.
The supermodel gave the clearest sign yet that she may be expecting her second child, showing off curves in a see-through catsuit that also gave more than a glimpse of some lacy lingerie.
Stepping out with her rocker boyfriend Jamie Hince, the couple enjoyed an intimate dinner with Topshop boss Sir Philip Green and his daughter Chloe.
And ending at 4am, it represented an early night for the hard-partying supermodel".
Who the fuck cares? She's ugly and saggy and cruel. Mossy is old news.
Kate Hudson's Sexy Bathroom Pole Dancing
Kate Hudson has talked about her love of pole dancing before, because it's fun and makes her feel empowered as a strong woman of the world. Bleh, bleh, bleh. If you ask any pole Kate's smeared her bits on, they'd say it makes them feel weepy and suicidal.
Anygoldiehawnneedstoslapherchild, a sourcie tells UsWeekly (via The Scoop) that Kate had a stripper pole installed in her bathroom and she's proud of it! They said, “She’s so proud of it. She was laughing and giddy like a kid when the thing was installed! She holds on with both her arms and flips her legs into the air. It’s kind of amazing and totally sexy.”
They got the work order wrong. The pole was supposed to be installed up her ass.
But seriously, there has to be a good reason for this. Kate Hudson is like all green and shit, right? Like she loves hugging trees and stuff? Maybe this is her way of saving toilet paper. After she takes a shit, she gets on the pole, flips her legs into the air, wraps her ass cheeks around it and slides that shit clean. Shit and slide!
Anygoldiehawnneedstoslapherchild, a sourcie tells UsWeekly (via The Scoop) that Kate had a stripper pole installed in her bathroom and she's proud of it! They said, “She’s so proud of it. She was laughing and giddy like a kid when the thing was installed! She holds on with both her arms and flips her legs into the air. It’s kind of amazing and totally sexy.”
They got the work order wrong. The pole was supposed to be installed up her ass.
But seriously, there has to be a good reason for this. Kate Hudson is like all green and shit, right? Like she loves hugging trees and stuff? Maybe this is her way of saving toilet paper. After she takes a shit, she gets on the pole, flips her legs into the air, wraps her ass cheeks around it and slides that shit clean. Shit and slide!
Emmanuelle Chriqui is cute.
Does Emmanuelle Chriqui ever look bad? I don’t think I’ve ever seen her looking less than delicious. Here she is at the ‘He’s Just Not That Into You’ premiere giving Scarlett Johansson a run for bucks in just a pair of jeans, a tank top and a blazer. In fact, between the two there’s so much hotness that my heads are about to explode. Both of them! Call an ambulance! Still, Emmanuelle's name is retarded.
Lady Gaga. Finally, bitch.
Finally, Lady GaGa has listened and is making efforts to cover her wretched face. Thank you. It’s about time.
Cindy Crawford is a fit M.I.L.F
Here’s supermodel Cindy Crawford keeping fit by taking a walk on Malibu beach. It’s nice to see that she’s preserving herself well, unlike some of her counterparts, Naomi Campbell, Helena Christensen and Claudia Schiffer… It’s just further proof of why Cindy was the most famous supermodel of the 90's. But her arms are looking a bit big. Stop now Cind's, or i'll leave you.
Ali Landry, what happened?
TV Presenter and really hot model Ali Landry, is in my opinion is one of the most beautiful, well hot, women in the world, so can someone please explain to me why she’s wearing this outfit? My grandmother wouldn’t be caught dead in it and she’s been dead for 15 years. And what’s with the chain necklace?. Does Ali really think it makes the ensemble any more contemporary? Anyway, let’s pretend we never saw this… What a mess!
Emily Scott. Yes. YES!
I’ve done many posts on Australian beauty Emily Scott over the years and I’m a little disappointed that my hard work hasn’t paid off yet and made her a big star in the UK. Have you ever seen green eyes like that before? They’re like Kryptonite. You’d think combined with those super funbags they would have weakened every man in the world by now. But wait....they're fake. And she was on Love Island......oh christ.
Jessica Simpson. Butterface?
Yes, she's dumpy. Yes, of late she's more than dumpy. But i've always thought Jessica Simpson had a beautiful face. Not anymore.
Enough With This Nonsense, Show Your Tits Already.
Out of all things Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt can do, this is the most retarded fake candids Ive ever laid eyes on! It’s SO retarded that I might officially ban Heidi from this site for good. Not even her stupid fake titties can salvage the stupidity that we are witnessing. Ok, maybe topless photos can, but that’s it! I still love her.
Isla Fisher is a cutie.
Here’s Isla Fisher at the New York Premiere of ‘Confessions of a Shopaholic’ looking like a fine piece of red meat. Normally, I couldn’t care less about redheads but after seeing Christina Hendrick's yesterday and now Isla, I might be a convert. That is as long as they’re groomed. No one likes a red bush. No one!
Jennifer Saunders is still a M.I.L.F
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Eva Riccobono. The Supermodel with a booty.
Holy shit! Look at that thing. It's peachy perfection. Italian supermodel Eva Riccobono is hot! She's a new favourite. Move over Irina, move over now.
Christina Hendricks. Best. Tits. Ever.
Probably. Mad Men star, Christina Hendricks, is a really great actress, and a really nice girl, too, and I want to be polite and respectful, but OH MY GOD will you look at that cleavage! It's like staring into the light of creation. It's so glorious and beautiful I'm scared my face will melt off my skull like that dude in Raiders of the Lost Arc. And as if that wasn't enough, she's also really pretty and a redhead. Yeah, I knew it... My face is melting off.
Gwyneth Paltrow is a stupid bitch.
The last time I saw shorts like this was on a leather daddy who smartly accessorized with a harness, combat boots, a dog collar and a ball gag. That's what was missing from this retina-burning ensemble: a ball gag in Fishy's mouth! That would make me stand up, clap and fart out a GOOP nugget out of sheer happiness! She's an idiot. How did she win an oscar. I'll tell you how. Fish and Blythe bloody Danner. *sighs*Katy perry's cleavage.....good work.
She annoys the fuck out of me. I can't stand the whiney bitch and her lesbo antics. So what your Mum was a slut and fucked Jimi Hendrix? So what your boyfriend's black and has tattoo's? So what you look like a mongoloid Zooey Deschanel. You know what? Your tits are really great. That's why i post her. That's why!
Telly
Kelly 'Work' Rowland turns 12 today? Wait, what? I mean 28.
Underworld Rise Of The Lycans - ScreenerGO
51st Annual Grammy AwardsGO
NUMB3RS - Season 5GO
ER - Season 15GO
The Count of Monte CristoGO
Star Trek: Deep Space NineGO
American Dad - Seasons 1-4GO
The L Word - All SeasonsGO
———Sleaziness———
Jenni Lee Barely LegalGO
Sandra Shine and Gina Rider fistingGO
Morgana A - PresentingGO
Sean Actually Knows This Chick! Just kiddingGO
Delta White gets fuckedGO
Cassia Riley [ Sexy on a sheepskin bed ]GO
Sexy Cytherea And FriendsGO
Sean’s amatuersGO
Peachez Hotel MasturbationGO
AssGO
Jenni LeeGO
Met Art - Natasha S - PelixiGO
Amy Ried - Anal POVGO
———Audio Books———
Clive Barker - The Hellbound HeartGO
The Dragon RebornGO
The Hedge KnightGO
———Games———
War Leaders: Clash Of NationsGO
PariahGO
———Screening Room———
Holy Crap! What Happens When A Bird Meets A Jet Engine?GO
I’m On A Boat feat. T-Pain (NSFW)GO
Ninja Cat (SFW)GO
51st Annual Grammy AwardsGO
NUMB3RS - Season 5GO
ER - Season 15GO
The Count of Monte CristoGO
Star Trek: Deep Space NineGO
American Dad - Seasons 1-4GO
The L Word - All SeasonsGO
———Sleaziness———
Jenni Lee Barely LegalGO
Sandra Shine and Gina Rider fistingGO
Morgana A - PresentingGO
Sean Actually Knows This Chick! Just kiddingGO
Delta White gets fuckedGO
Cassia Riley [ Sexy on a sheepskin bed ]GO
Sexy Cytherea And FriendsGO
Sean’s amatuersGO
Peachez Hotel MasturbationGO
AssGO
Jenni LeeGO
Met Art - Natasha S - PelixiGO
Amy Ried - Anal POVGO
———Audio Books———
Clive Barker - The Hellbound HeartGO
The Dragon RebornGO
The Hedge KnightGO
———Games———
War Leaders: Clash Of NationsGO
PariahGO
———Screening Room———
Holy Crap! What Happens When A Bird Meets A Jet Engine?GO
I’m On A Boat feat. T-Pain (NSFW)GO
Ninja Cat (SFW)GO
Megan Hauserman Suckin’ Dick
Another shitty slut sucking on a dong. I had no idea who this girl was because I don’t really keep track of useless fame whores as much as I should, because they are eager, but when I got a picture of her, or who someone claims is her with her mouth on a dick, I get motivated enough to scope her out.
It turns out that in 2006 she was a Playboy Cybergirl, which means she wasn’t hot enough to get in the magazine, then she was on a series of Reality Shows, like shit is serial, from Beauty and the Geek, to Rock of Love, to I love Money, then Rock of Love: Charm School, I guess for the most part, her Reality career has been a product of being this Rock of Love shit and all it’s spin-offs, but it’s still a pathetic existence, but not as pathetic as having a picture of you with a dick in your mouth hit the internet for publicity. I have a feeling this whore emailed me herself with this shit hoping to get 5 minutes. She's not that hot. Click on the picture below. Urgh.
How ironic.
I am posting it because it is nice to see this bitch follow her calling. Sure, Khloe Kardashian bitch is a pig or a monster, so rocking out on Friday the 13th is appropriate, but not as appropriate as shit being called the Anti-Valentine’s day party, because I hear that’s the name of Khloe Kardashian’s memoir, a story about a ugly fucking girl with big dreams, who used to sit at home, year after year making Valentine’s Day cards and cookies and decorations, thinking about all the boys swooning her and asking her to be theirs and all that shit, only that never happened, leaving her bitter and a leader in the war against Valentines day, fueled by cynicism and rejection turned into anger. Hahahaha......Miranda Kerr. Why?
Yeah her body is rocking. She's has amazing legs and the girls skinny. But this isn't what supermodels should look like. She has a wide alien face and not the hot kind like Michelle Pfeiffer. Victoria's Secret should look back to 1996. Casta, Seymour, Fonatana. But leave the Brazillians....leave them alone.
Aubrey O'Day please go away.
I’m a fan of Danity Kane's Aubrey O'Day-she sounds like a slutty didacoy. I don't really think she's all that hot. Just slutty. But I’m not a fan of Playboy because they do not know how to shoot women. I mean what the hell did they do to her? She’s not even a color anymore. Anyway, it’s a good thing some people read the magazine for the articles because the amateurs who Photoshop their pictorials suck. Anyway, Aubrey should just bang on film already. I want to see her raw and in the flesh. Not bronzed.
Shanae Grimes has been tangoed.
I don’t know much about Shanae Grimes and I don’t post her often cause she’s always dressed like a bag lady, and not a hot bag lady like Natalie Portman but has more of the average/quite pretty dump thang going on. Anyways, i’m concerned about her health. Is she having an allergic reaction or been involved in some kind of chemical or nuclear disaster. She’s fuckin’ glowing.
AnnaLyne McCord's pussy *hehe*
My jobs is too easy. But i don't get this girl. She's weird, but she's hot. She's unique looking that's for sure. This isn’t the first that we’ve seen Annalyne McCord's pussy out in public, but it is the first time she’s got it on a leash. Ow! I don’t know what that means but it seems that she’s got big plans for Valentine’s day, a bag full of Victoria’s Secret lingerie and a cat on a leash could make for an interesting night. I hope it’s de-clawed. Whatever she’s planning, I’m in. I’ll bring my rooster and some baby oil. I'm confused.
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