Freak

Kim Zolciak of The Real Housewives of Atlanta can relate to both Britney Spears and Michael Jackson. Kim understands the beast known as fame (not to be confused with the beast on her head nicknamed "famewhore"). Kim talks about this in an interview she gave to Popeater that was delivered down to us by the baby angels. For serious. Kim is really the grand dame of delusional! Example: "I feel bad for Brit Spears, I look at her and I'm like they just tear up one side and down the other! Then the next month, she's doing so great, she's lost weight, she's a great mom all of a sudden. I kind of sympathize with her because I take a lot of that heat myself." Oh and it gets better....
"I wasn't into Michael Jackson, back in the day I was, but then when he did pass, I'm like everybody else, I bought all his songs. He was so super, super talented and it's pretty terrible. Although I can understand how it could happen. I understand the fame. My life changed in such a short period of time, I can't imagine what he dealt with. Sometimes, emotionally, it's taken its toll on me, never mind him who is far bigger worldwide."
Oh, Kim, you are more famous than Brit Brit and Michael Jackson combined. Well, that's if you count all the voices inside her wig as fans.

If you drive by Kim's luxurious townhouse on any day of the week, you will see a mob of paparazzi and fans fighting just to get one peek of her. Yes, you'll notice that the paps are a little shorter than normal and that's because they are neighborhood kids Kim pays to hold cameras. Just go along with it! Oh and the fans are actually members of the ASPCA trying to capture her wig, but again, go along with it! Just skip through Kim's forest of crazy. It's better for everyone.
And I leave you with another amazing quote about her wig line: "I got so much heat for wearing a hair piece, which is comical because all the girls on the show wear one. I took so much I heat, I was like, I'm gonna turn a negative into a positive. I'm gonna go ahead make it work. Actually, it was really difficult for me to talk about that last year. Now in just a year, I'm able to talk about it, explain my situation and why I ended up in that position and why I still do it today ... 'cause I don't really have to. It's turned into a business venture at this point."

I. Cannot.